ALL ABOARD THE HOT MESS EXPRESS: BACK FROM THE INTERNET VOID
Ladies, gentlemen, I have returned. Yes, like a majestic, slightly disoriented phoenix rising from the ashes of an extended internet break, I emerge—squinting into the digital sunlight, wondering how much has changed, and hoping someone saved me a meme or two. Let’s talk about The Break. It started innocently enough—a casual "I should probably touch grass" moment that spiraled into an extended period of off-the-grid soul searching (read: sleeping in, rediscovering hobbies, and making awkward eye contact with my neighbors). And let me tell you, unplugging was both a revelation and a series of jump scares. Who knew people still made eye contact in public places? Not me, that’s for sure. In my time away, I learned valuable lessons, such as: Sunlight is free therapy – Who knew that a brisk walk could replace hours of doomscrolling? I now know what season it is without checking a trending hashtag. Progress! Hobbies exist outside of binge-watching – I took up baking, which star...
