Dear Diary: How I Survived Two Exam Sessions, Three Jobs & Became a Workaholic (Now I Don’t Know How to Stop)

 Dear Diary,

At this point, I am convinced that I was not built for relaxation. Some people thrive in peaceful, slow-paced environments where they sip herbal tea, meditate, and casually exist.

I am not one of those people.

I function entirely on adrenaline, caffeine, and the sheer force of impending deadlines. If I am not drowning in work, studying for an impossible exam, or juggling an unreasonable number of responsibilities, I feel like I am doing something wrong.

And that, dear reader, is how I ended up surviving two exam sessions, working three jobs at the same time, and somehow developing a concerning addiction to being overworked.

Let’s unpack this absolute disaster.

It all started innocently enough.

I had already committed to two university degrees, which, in hindsight, should have been enough to keep me busy. But did I stop there?

No.

Because at some point, I had the brilliant idea that I could also work full-time while dealing with back-to-back exam sessions. And then, for reasons I still do not understand, I decided to pick up two extra jobs.

So now, my schedule looked something like this:

• 7:00 AM – Wake up, chug caffeine, contemplate my life choices.
• 8:00 AM – Work at Job #1 while panicking about upcoming exams.
• 3:00 PM – Sprint to classes, attempt to absorb knowledge like a dry sponge in the ocean.
• 6:00 PM – Head to Job #2 (because one source of income apparently wasn’t enough).
• 10:00 PM – Job #3 (??? WHY).
• 2:00 AM – Get home, cry a little, study until my vision blurs.
• 3:30 AM – Sleep? Never heard of her.

Rinse. Repeat. Every single day.

At some point, I think I started experiencing time as a theoretical concept rather than a reality. Days blurred together. I lost all sense of what "weekends" were supposed to be.

Was I okay? Absolutely not.

Did I have time to reflect on how deeply unhinged this schedule was? Also no.

You know what’s fun? Going through one exam session.

You know what’s an actual psychological experiment in human endurance? Going through two exam sessions at the same time while working three jobs.

At one point, my entire brain was just one long list of deadlines. I was memorizing legal codes, accounting principles, tax regulations, and also trying not to get fired for missing meetings at Job #1 because I was pulling an all-nighter for an exam at 8 AM the next morning.

It was around this time that my body started to physically reject my choices.

• My back pain was evolving like a Pokémon.
• My caffeine dependency had reached a level where I could probably survive without sleep entirely if I just kept drinking espresso.
• My diet consisted of whatever food could be eaten in under three minutes while running to class.
• I hadn’t had a real conversation with another human being that wasn’t about work or school in weeks.

At one point, I sat down at my desk and tried to remember the last time I did something "for fun." And the horrifying realization hit me:

I didn’t know anymore.

The turning point came when exam season finally ended.

I had passed everything, survived my job(s), and should have been relieved.

And yet.

The moment the deadlines disappeared, I felt an overwhelming sense of dread.

I sat down, fully free for the first time in months, and my brain immediately went:

• "You should be doing something right now."
• "Why are you resting? This is suspicious."
• "What if we found another project? Maybe a fourth job? A new course? SOMETHING??"

Instead of celebrating my survival, I was actively searching for more stress to throw myself into.

What kind of psychological damage is this??

At this point, I have come to a terrifying realization:

I do not know how to relax.

Every time I try, my brain panics. It craves the rush of having too many things to do at once.

I tried watching a movie, and halfway through, I was fidgeting, checking my emails, and looking for more things to add to my schedule.

I attempted to take a weekend off, but by hour four, I had already found a new project to work on.

I have fully conditioned myself to believe that "not being overwhelmed" = failure.

This is not normal.

This is probably the beginning of a full-scale mental breakdown.

So here I am, on the edge of what I can only assume is a rapidly approaching burnout crisis, and I have absolutely no idea how to fix it.

• Do I take a vacation?
• Do I force myself to sit still and do nothing until I re-learn how to exist like a normal human?
• Do I just accept that I am now an adrenaline-fueled work robot and embrace my fate?

At this point, I don’t even know what "normal" feels like anymore.

But what I DO know is that if I don’t slow down, I am going to crash and burn in the most dramatic way possible.

So if you see me suddenly vanish for two weeks, assume that I have finally given in to my exhaustion and am now lying face down in bed, refusing to answer emails.

Or, more realistically, assume that I accidentally started another project instead of taking a break because I have no self-control.

If you, too, have lost all sense of balance, forgotten how to rest, and are dangerously close to an existential crisis—congrats, welcome to the club.

We are all fighting for our lives out here, one unnecessary responsibility at a time.

Tell me: What’s the worst workaholic decision you’ve ever made? Drop it in the comments so I don’t feel alone in my terrible life choices.