ALL ABOARD THE HOT MESS EXPRESS: BACK FROM THE INTERNET VOID

 Ladies, gentlemen, I have returned. Yes, like a majestic, slightly disoriented phoenix rising from the ashes of an extended internet break, I emerge—squinting into the digital sunlight, wondering how much has changed, and hoping someone saved me a meme or two.

Let’s talk about The Break. It started innocently enough—a casual "I should probably touch grass" moment that spiraled into an extended period of off-the-grid soul searching (read: sleeping in, rediscovering hobbies, and making awkward eye contact with my neighbors). And let me tell you, unplugging was both a revelation and a series of jump scares. Who knew people still made eye contact in public places? Not me, that’s for sure.

In my time away, I learned valuable lessons, such as:

1. Sunlight is free therapy – Who knew that a brisk walk could replace hours of doomscrolling? I now know what season it is without checking a trending hashtag. Progress!

2. Hobbies exist outside of binge-watching – I took up baking, which started as "let’s make something cute" and quickly devolved into "why does my kitchen look like a crime scene?"

3. My cat, Mochi, had questions – The way he stared at me, I could tell he was concerned. "Why are you here? Don't you usually disappear behind that glowing rectangle?" Sorry, Mochi. I was just out here trying to live, buddy.

But here’s the real tea: stepping away from the internet made me realize that I was treating life like a content treadmill—constantly scrolling, consuming, reacting. And honestly? It was exhausting. Now, I’m back, but with a new perspective. Less mindless scrolling, more mindful living. More weird little joys, like laughing at my own bad cooking and actually reading a book instead of just collecting aesthetically pleasing ones for my shelf.

So, consider this my grand return—refreshed, rejuvenated, and slightly less addicted to my phone. Will I fall back into my old ways? Maybe. But for now, I’m savoring the simple things, one ridiculous life moment at a time.

Have you ever taken a break from the internet? Did it lead to enlightenment, or did you just panic and run back into the arms of TikTok? Let me know—after all, I’m back on Wi-Fi, baby!

Until next time, Miss Storybelle, your trusty conductor of the Hot Mess Express.