10 Things That Give Me Instant Anxiety for Absolutely No Reason

 Dear Diary,

Ah, anxiety—my unpaid, full-time job that I never applied for but somehow ended up overqualified for. You know, just existing in this chaotic world isn’t enough. My brain insists on sprinkling in random, unnecessary panic attacks for flavor.

One minute, I’m peacefully minding my own business, and the next? I’m sweating bullets because I accidentally waved at someone who wasn’t waving at me. Or worse—because I just remembered an awkward text I sent in 2014 that no one else recalls but has somehow taken up permanent residence in my subconscious.

I wish I could say these anxiety spikes are rational. But no. No, my brain prefers the absurd, the unnecessary, and the downright ridiculous. So, let’s break down the 10 things that make my nervous system short-circuit for absolutely no logical reason.

1️⃣ Sending a Text and Seeing ‘Typing…’ for Too Long

First of all, why are you still typing?

What are you possibly composing that requires this much time? A well-thought-out response? An insult? A break-up speech? A cease-and-desist letter?

The possibilities are endless, and none of them are good.

My brain immediately assumes I’ve somehow offended you, even though my message was literally "What time are we meeting?"

Solution? Turn off read receipts, throw phone across the room, and pretend the conversation never existed.

2️⃣ Walking Past Security Even Though I Did Nothing Wrong

Why do I feel like I’m smuggling state secrets and three unregistered weapons when all I have in my bag is a pack of gum and a phone charger?

I have never committed a crime. Not even jaywalking (okay, maybe once). And yet, when I walk past security at a store, an airport, or literally anywhere, my body decides to act like I just hacked into the Pentagon.

I start walking weirdly, avoiding eye contact, and somehow forgetting how arms work. Do I swing them? Keep them still?

If I hear so much as a single beep, I’m throwing myself to the ground and confessing to crimes I didn’t commit.

3️⃣ Calling Customer Service and Having to Speak to a Human

This is my villain origin story.

I will do anything to avoid making a phone call. Anything. Carrier pigeon? Absolutely. Smoke signals? If necessary. Telepathic communication? Working on it.

The second I hear, “Press 1 to speak to a representative,” my fight-or-flight kicks in so hard I nearly pass out.

And God forbid they pick up with "How can I help you today?" because now I have to actually form words and explain my issue like a functioning adult.

I rehearse what I’m going to say at least 27 times before dialing. Then, the moment they answer?

“Uh, yes, hi… I… help? Yes?”

Pathetic.

4️⃣ ‘We Need to Talk.’

First of all, no, we don’t.

That phrase should be illegal. Either tell me what it is right now or let’s agree to never, ever discuss it.

When someone says "We need to talk," my brain immediately assumes:
❤They hate me.

❤I’m getting fired.

❤I unknowingly caused an international crisis.

Best solution? Just ghost them and move to another country.

5️⃣ Accidentally Liking an Old Instagram Post While Stalking Someone

Oh, you thought I was having a casual scroll through social media?

WRONG. I am conducting a full-scale FBI investigation on an acquaintance’s ex-roommate’s cousin’s wedding photos from 2017.

And then, disaster strikes.

I accidentally double-tap. The screen lights up red. I have made a fatal mistake.

There are only two options now:
❤Sell my phone, delete all social media, and assume a new identity.
❤Unlike immediately, as if that will erase the damage.

Spoiler: It won’t. They already got the notification. They already saw. They know.

6️⃣ When Someone Watches Me Type in Real-Time

I’m typing. They’re watching.

Suddenly, I forget how words work. My brain turns into a static-filled television screen from 1997.

Me: “Hey! Just wanted to—”
Also me: Deletes entire sentence.
Me: Rewrites it but worse.
Me: Deletes again.

I eventually send a two-word reply after five minutes of visible “…” because at this point, it’s a hostage situation.

7️⃣ Talking to a Barista and Forgetting My Own Order

I walk into a coffee shop fully prepared to order something simple. I have rehearsed it. I have visualized it. I have manifested it.

Then the barista looks at me and says, “What can I get for you?”

And I panic.

"Uh… water?"

Water. I came here for coffee. What am I doing.

8️⃣ Walking into a Room and Immediately Forgetting Why I’m There

It’s like my brain just rage-quits my thought process the moment I cross the threshold.

❤Did I come for my phone?

❤A snack?

❤A sense of purpose in life?

Honestly? Probably all three.

9️⃣ Getting a ‘Can I Call You?’ Text

🚨 Emergency. 🚨

This is never good. Nobody sends this text if they just want to chat about their weekend.

The options are:
❤Bad news.

❤Awkward conversation.

❤A monologue I’m emotionally unprepared for.

Alternative solution: Ignore it and pretend I lost my phone.

🔟 When Someone Asks ‘What’s New?’ and I Forget Everything About My Life

My brain completely shuts down. I suddenly have no memory of the last three months.

❤Do I work? Yes? Maybe?

❤Have I done anything exciting? Absolutely not.

❤What do I even do all day? Unclear.

I default to "Not much! You?" because that is safer than unpacking the existential crisis that is my daily life.

At this point, I have accepted my fate. My brain will continue to hit the panic button over nonsense, and I will continue to suffer.

The only solution? Laugh at the absurdity, embrace the chaos, and accept that I am a walking anxiety attack.

Which one of these gives YOU instant anxiety? Drop your answer in the comments! 👇