Friday Night Existential Crisis: Why I Can’t Relax Even When I Deserve To?

 It’s Friday night, and I should be celebrating.

I made it. Somehow, against all odds, I survived another week of pretending to be a functional adult. Another week of waking up too early, drinking too much coffee, working too many hours, and convincing myself that "next week, I’ll have it all together."

And yet, instead of basking in the sweet relief of the weekend, I find myself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling vaguely unsettled.

Not because I have something urgent to do.
Not because I forgot a deadline (though, let’s be honest, I probably did).
But because I don’t know what to do with myself now that I have free time.

Somewhere along the way, I became so accustomed to being in survival mode that when things finally slow down, I panic. Am I missing something? Should I be doing something productive? What do normal people even do on weekends?

I don’t have answers. But I do have a lot of thoughts. So, welcome to my Friday night existential breakdown. Let’s unpack the absolute chaos of being a young adult with no idea how to human properly.

Every Monday, I tell myself that this weekend, I’m going to be an exciting, social person.

I am going to say yes to plans. I am going to leave my house voluntarily. I am going to do fun things, like an extroverted human who enjoys life.

And yet.

Every Friday evening, the group chat is on fire with suggestions.
Drinks? Movie night? A spontaneous road trip?

And there I am, watching the messages roll in, fully intending to say yes, while already changing into my pajamas.

I don’t know what happens between Monday and Friday, but something inside me shuts down.

By Wednesday, I’m already exhausted. By Thursday, I’m running on fumes. By Friday, my entire personality is just "I am so tired, please don’t make me interact with humans."

So instead of actually responding, I do what any responsible adult would do.

• Step 1: Wait a suspicious amount of time before replying.
• Step 2: Type "Omg that sounds fun!" while making zero moves to actually go.
• Step 3: Hope the plans dissolve on their own without my intervention.

And the worst part? I still get hit with FOMO.

There is no winning.

You know what’s deeply unsettling? The feeling of having free time after an entire week of chaos.

My body is so used to running on pure adrenaline that when I finally sit down, my brain immediately goes:

• "Why are you sitting?"
• "Why are you relaxing??"
• "You should be doing something productive."

So, instead of actually enjoying my evening, I go through a series of increasingly unhinged attempts to fill the void.

• First, I try to read a book like a cultured individual.
• Then, I scroll through my phone for two hours, accomplishing nothing.
• Then, I decide I should "clean my apartment" (which really just means rearranging the same pile of stuff from one corner to another).
• And finally, after accomplishing nothing of substance, I crawl into bed feeling mildly unsatisfied with my life.

I think I have forgotten how to do nothing.

At this point, if my schedule isn’t drowning me, I feel like I’m failing.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is probably not a great sign.

⚔️ The fight between "I should rest" and "I should do something meaningful with my time."

• On one hand, I deserve a break. I worked all week. I handled my responsibilities. I survived. Surely, I have earned the right to do nothing.
• On the other hand, if I waste the entire weekend, I will feel deeply, cosmically guilty when Monday rolls around.

So I end up in a horrifying middle ground where I neither truly relax nor accomplish anything.

Instead, I just… exist in limbo.

It’s like being a Sims character who’s just standing in one spot, slightly swaying, waiting for a command.

Someone please click on me and tell me what to do.

Every Friday night, I enter a state of delusional optimism.

I suddenly become convinced that this weekend is THE weekend.

• "I’m going to wake up early and be productive!"
• "I’m going to meal prep and finally start eating like an adult!"
• "I’m going to finish that personal project I abandoned six months ago!"

I sit there, crafting an entire itinerary in my head.

I can already picture a more organized, responsible version of myself. A version that wakes up at 7 AM, drinks lemon water, goes for a run, and spends the weekend reading, journaling, and making healthy choices.

It is a beautiful dream.

And then, reality hits.

By Saturday morning, I have already slept through my ambitious wake-up time, forgotten my grand plans, and am now eating snacks in bed while scrolling TikTok.

At this point, I should just accept that this is who I am now.

So if you, too, are ending this week feeling exhausted, slightly unfulfilled, and vaguely confused about what you’re supposed to be doing with your life—congrats! You are doing it exactly right.

Tell me: What’s your Friday night ritual? Do you also enter an existential crisis, or do you actually know how to relax? Drop it in the comments and let’s suffer together.